Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Knitting Confessional

All those stupid reality shows have a confessional of some sort. You know, a place where the pathetic participants can go and share how they hate Cindy's hair or the fact that Bobby just doesn't seem to pull his weight on the team. I think a knitting confessional is a good idea. All of us have dirty little knitting secrets. I think you all know what I'm talking about: maybe stretching the truth on the fiber content of your yarn, not bothering to correct a mistake but just forging ahead and telling everyone that "it's supposed to be a little lumpy." Here's my knitting secret: I am the World's Worst Knitter. Seriously. I'm not fishing for compliments. I really do suck at knitting. Like Salieri was to Mozart, so is my mediocrity in knitting to those around me. That's why my blog carries the title it does. (Just puzzle it out. If you don't get it, email me and I'll help out.)

Being the World's Worst Knitter is tough. It leads to lack of confidence in one's knitting skills and, most notably, the complete unwillingness to post a photo of a knitted garment on one's blog. So we have the second part of my confession: I just don't want anyone to see how badly I knit! I love knitting, but it doesn't love me back with the passion I'd like. That being said and this being my confessional, my act of contrition is to post some pictures of what I've knit.

Exhibit A: The start of Clapotis
I have never knit Clapotis before. In the world of knit/bloggers, it seems to be all the rage and, for the first time in my life I decided to follow fashion. (It's also one of the coolest scarves I've ever seen.) The pattern scared the hell out of me. As the Emperor said: "Too many notes," or in this case, too many abbreviations. (Lots of Amadeus references tonight.) For the life of me, I did the pfb wrong no less than 5 times. I frogged and knit 5 times. Hey, I may suck at this, but I'm tenacious with a capitol T. This is the Brooks Farm Yarn I picked up last weekend and I'm very happy the colors. I think it's going to be just beautiful once it's finished. For the record: those are not my hairy arms. I swear.

Exhibit B: My first sock.
I can't say that I knit a pair of socks because I haven't. Just this one lonely little sock. It's really more of a footie because the leg is pretty short. I knit this for Boogie months ago fully intending to knit it's mate. We all know what they say about the road the Hell? Right? Right? Knitting this sock was pretty tough. You can imagine what knitting on dpns does to the World's Worst Knitter. Talk about trauma! I had pretty much decided that I could live with having only one little sock until tonight when Boogie let me take this picture:

If that sock isn't the cutest little thing on the the cutest little baby leg, I just don't know what is. It positively screams for it's mate! I just have to knit it before Boogie's feet get any bigger.
Fortunately for me, I have plenty of sock yarn, (leftover from when I seriously believed I would become a sock knitter) and I'm willing to jump back on this wild sock horse so that my kid has cute feet. Isn't that the best reason in the world to knit a sock? I mean socks. Plural...'cause there should be a pair of them.

Exhibit C: A hat.
I mentioned this hat a couple of posts back and included a horrible scanned picture that came with the pattern. This hat was knitted with the wrong type yarn for that particular pattern so it doesn't fit me. Even though it flops around Boogie's head like a really bad wig, she looks cute as a button in it. (That takes the sting out of the fact that I can't wear it.) My plan is to knit a little flower to pin up the brim so that Boogie can see where she's going.

So thanks for sitting through my confession! Even though I'll always be the World's Worst Knitter, from now on I'll proudly post my finished projects warts, babies, and all.


Blogger Annie said...

None of what you showed looks terrible~ everything looks great. Hardly the "world's worst knitter"! I love the idea of a confessional though.

Great post!

10:52 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

That sock is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen! Not terrible at all. I would say that Boogie needs the 2nd sock to keep her feet warm, but I guess not in the south there.

5:19 AM  

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